Follow Child Refuge on Twitter

When and how do we forgive child molesters?

This is a difficult subject to talk about, especially for those who have been victimized or are connected to victims, which is almost everybody considering the statistics. It’s something that stirs up emotions for everyone - anger, disgust, desire for justice. There’s no question that offenders must be punished. For the sake of the victims and the sake of the community, they need to be removed from society for a time and then closely monitored to prevent recidivism.

From the Christian perspective, however, where does forgiveness fit in? It's usually very easy to talk about "judge not lest you be judged yourself" and "forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us", but when it comes to certain "sins" that we ourselves have never done or consider extra heinous, that forgiveness doesn't come so easily. This can especially be true for victims and their families, whose lives are shattered forever because of sexual abuse. Still, does that mean that child sex abusers are one group whose sins cannot be touched by the blood of Christ?

 

First, I guess it would be good to establish what it means to forgive someone. Of course, it doesn't mean one has to be buddy-buddy with an offender or that communities have to give sex offenders a place on the county legislature. Still, when does a person's punishment stop? Some might say never, considering that the victim's lives are ruined forever, but what about the offenders like an 18 year old that was caught sleeping with his 15 year old girlfriend. After he receives his punishment from the judge, should he really be put on a national sex offender registry and have that haunt him the rest of his life?

 

What do you think? How can we show the forgiveness and love of Christ to someone who has committed such a reprehensible crime? Should changes be made to the way sex offenders are defined and monitored by law enforcement?

11.29.2014 | Grant

Comments

Rev. Christopher StandingBear, RMT.
Tuesday, 05 June 2012

Another perspective...

"...shattered forever" and "ruined forever"...these are false statements anymore. Based on standard talk therapy or counseling, yes this turns out to be true for many. It just isn't completely helpful to talk about it and have the therapist give the client a new perspective. Why you ask?

The subconscious mind continues to hold the experience and the beliefs that were formed regarding oneself as a result. Being given a different perspective helps the logical conscious mind, but until emotional charge is collapsed along with all negative beliefs associated, the child (or now adult) will continue to be adversely impacted by their experience.

I have had total success working with victims and great success with sex offenders using Energy Psychology, Energy Medicine and Spiritual Healing. I have written an article discussing both.

For those interested in reading about healing from sexual abuse and rape: http://bearfoothealing.org/effects-of-sexual-trauma.html

You can read about helping perpetrators heal at: http://bearfoothealing.org/introduction.html

The topic of forgiveness is of great importance whether healing as a victim or offender. It is our perceived inability to forgive that adds so much misery and emotional as well as potentially physical pain. We are only hurting ourselves by choosing not to forgive. Understand though, when you are boiling away in the thick of emotional upset, it can be hard to forgive. This is where getting the help you need, no which side you are on, abused or abuser, is so important. When you have fully healed the emotional charge, you will naturally forgive. I've witnessed this happen with me and others so I know it is truly possible.

May you heal and forgive...

Namasté

Leave your comment

Guest
Saturday, 29 November 2014

Comments

Deborrah Cooper said,
  Jill Watson, you sound delusional. You also sound very defensive, like a pimp at  
Jeannie said,
  how do I find out if my niece is lieing about being molested by my husband? What  
Bruce Nelson said,
  How about publishing it in epub format - readable on many other ereaders? Why?  

Quick Help

Not sure what to do? Need help? Just fill the blanks and we will respond within 1 business day.
Invalid Input
Invalid Input
Invalid Input
 
Refresh 
Invalid Input